So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dick very happy bro
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
