ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
