so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
