Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
