even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
