I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
