all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
