okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
