I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
