Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I still have a little drunk in my system
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
