it was like eating out sand paper
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
