Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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