when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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