escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
