Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
