Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
