I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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