I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
