A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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