I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
