My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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