what day is it and did you see me today?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
