The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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