My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
