I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
