Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
