i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
