I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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