don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
