I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
