i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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