If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
