is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
