she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
