he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize