Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
