She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
