she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
