Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize