Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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