I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want a musical about memes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
