Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The uberlube is also flammable
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
