I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
