just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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