just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize