He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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