my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
