Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
