I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
