she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
