he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
