Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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