glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
