id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
