Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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