i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
